Oh the trials and tribulations…

Working in a doctors office there are a number of ocupational hazards; carpal tunnel, crick in the neck from holding the phone with your shoulder, paper cuts, the like…

During our office move two February’s ago one of our own was devestatingly injured. his name was Dr Bearclaw, which turned out to be a serendipitous fact later down the road in his life. When unpacking the box of office knick knacks, that was carefully packaged with a literal ass ton of packing peanuts, it was discovered that his right arm was MIA and nowhere to be found. Despite our best efforts to locate his missing appendage it was lost to that styrofoam hell from which there is no return. After much debate and an accepted challenge, by myself from the head doctor in the office, I set forth to sacrifice my weekend to repair the good doctor and set him back on his path to better those lives around him with his surgical finesse. After a successful arm prosthetic was surgically attached to the right, and the left arm put back in the same fashion – with the assistance of the superest of glues – Dr Bearclaw was back at it. Of course what with his entire arm missing and the minimal budget I was supplied with, the doctor is now a proud owner of a hook hand. He has a surprising amount of dexterity and finesse during his surgeries even after his accident.


However, some days later it was brought to our attention that the good doctor may have a Nazi sympathizing past. The following is an excerpt from his case:


“Unfortunately a day after Dr Bearclaw got his new lease on life we found out that he allegedly was a Nazi sympathizer. Considering he does have characteristics shared with classic film villains, the newest of which was a claw hand, we assure you we have looked into this matter. At this point in time he has not been acquitted of these, as he refers to them, ‘heinous accusations’. He has been given a probationary job as the greeter at the check out counter where he is used for advertising the practice. As his year is up today his case will be put up for review, the outcome of the case is to follow…”

With his case hearing coming up within the next week it was a terrible time for Dr Bearclaw’s twin brother, The Other Dr Bearclaw, to suffer an accident much worst than his.


The evidence will be hard to dispute, but Dr Bearclaw’s case is ongoing. I can assure you that his judgement will be firm but fair.


For those inquiring about The Other Dr Bearclaw, he is scheduled to undergo corrective surgery tomorrow. We have the utmost faith that he will make a full recovery, or a relatively full recovery. I think there may be pieces missing…

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