I don’t know about anyone else’s Friday night, but mine was too much to handle. Started off with an always great idea, shower beer. If you’re not familiar it’s when you drink a beer in the shower. Showers are good. Beer is better. Put them together? UHHHMAYZIIIING!!
Moving on from there and working on beer number 3, I break out the good ol’ Color Me Drunk coloring book.
My Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy matched my coloring book. Coincidence? Pretty much entirely, but it tastes like summer time and I love it.
3 bottles in and coloring like a champ, keep ’em coming.
This is as far as I got into the ‘Color Me Sober’ page. I realized that this system is flawed because I was spending more time coloring then drinking and how was I supposed to color it drunk if I’m not drunk? It also brought up the speculation as to whether it was a good idea to put a vague scary vagina design in a drunk persons coloring book, but that’s neither here nor there I suppose.
After the scary horned vagina and lack of appropriate intoxication debacle it was only logical to move on to Netflix, which turns out hates me and doesn’t like happiness because it wasn’t working. Roomsies! the ever spectacular saint that she is, was down for some movie watching.
I don’t know if you ever watched Godzilla sufficiently buzzed, but it is the only way to do it. Strong in this one, the wit is, and it only got better the more beers I had. Basically what I got from this movie was that Godzilla = Batman. Demolishes a nuclear plant and just chills in the Pacific for 15 years like a sir, because that’s the polite thing to do. And when shit gets real and it’s weirdo half brother arachnid guy starts to fuck shit up in the world he doggy paddles his way across the pacific to save the day. How do we repay him? Have the navy try to blow his shit up. After he single handedly neutralizes the threat he takes a quick nap, heroics take it out of you, gets up and mosey’s his way back to the water. Doesn’t ask for a ‘thank you’ or a well deserved ‘sorry for trying to blow you up‘ just gets up and leaves out like a bawse. All in all Godzilla was the hero San Francisco needed but didn’t deserve. Do you Godzilla, do you.