I’ve made the drive from MD to CT plenty o’ times in my day. The majority of the time it’s been all by my onesies, just the way I like it. I can sing my little heart out to whatever I so choose and I don’t have to stop so other people can pee because they didn’t go before we left and can’t hold it from Jersey to Connecticut. But let’s be real, with Greenbeans in the car I still do all that because that’s what he signed up for when he became besties with me. We did end up stopping in MD for food at a rest stop. There goes almost $50 in food and drinks… Which really isn’t hard to do because they charge out the ass hole for everything at rest stops. I don’t know why but I feel like I always make the choice to get ice cream on a road trip without knowing the real commitment that I just made but then realizing far too late that I just wasn’t ready.
All in all it was a fairly uninteresting car ride, only one argument came about. I still don’t even want to bring it up. But by that time we changed over to Disney Pandora and we sang our little hearts out and every thing was magical and happy again, because that’s what Disney is about.
Things I learned on this drive, or things I knew but had to relearn the hard way: never let the asian navigate…
“Let’s take the upper level of the George Washington Bridge” he says. “It’ll be and experience” he says. Before we realize that there’s only one lane open and no way to get to the lower level at this point. Would have been nice for someone to tell us earlier! So after taking a maybe not legal side road and cutting off a bunch of 18 wheelers and other cars because ain’t nobody got time for that shit, I got into a pissing match with the merging 18 wheelers. My Buick may not be as big but damn it all to hell if I don’t have bigger balls then any of those truckers.
The rest of the trip was pretty unfortunately boring until we’re driving down the highway in CT and out of nowhere a black plastic bag appears and I thought I just ran over an animal but the impact never came. My heart almost stopped. Greenbeans I’m pretty sure pushed out a diamond from his butt, he clenched it so tight.
Then we made it home in about 5 hours, which is pretty good time for not rushing like usual. 6 1/2 hours is for chumps who don’t have spaceship cars…
This is how he gets out of the car…like the Nancy he is.