Razooooorbaaaaacks, come out and plaayyeeeeahhhh…

Now that the warmer weather is oot and aboot here in MD, that means that the children are oot and aboot at my apartment complex. Babies make me uncomfortable, small children are kind of cute I guess, preteens and up Id really just like to kick out the front wheel of their bikes when they ride past me…

It makes it pretty miserable to have the windows open and air out the apartment when all you can hear is the cackles of the evil little children running around on the lawn, undoubtedly participating in some satanic ritual, because if horror movies have taught me anything its that children are evil and are not to be trusted.

I was not made aware that Razor scooters were ever a thing past anytime in the early 2000’s until this spring when a gang of Razor scooter riding hooligans began to take over the apartment complex. I see them most afternoons, racing up and down the parking lot, just begging to play a new version of Duck Shooter where in they are the ducks and my car is the gun in which I will take them down with such glee.

I would, however, like to point out that this enbiggening gang of raucous devil worshipers, ironic because we live behind a church, are well before their time. In this gang – that for every thinkable reason they should call themselves ‘The Razorbacks’ – there is quite the array of members. Children of all genders, race, age, maybe sexual orientation, I don’t know their lives and i’m sure they don’t either at this point. But all in all I am proud of their forward thinking, especially in light of the recent Baltimore riots. If there’s one thing that gangs these days need its diversity. If a bunch of tiny little devil children can come together to terrorize the parking lot without second thought of how their comrades are different then I don’t see how it can be so difficult for anyone else on this planet to do the same.


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