Meet my new biffle Sexy Ryan McSexypants…

So I went to a friends birthday party last Saturday, and I don’t want to jinx anything but, I met this guy. He’s pretty dreamy. He’s got a chiseled bod, abs for days, rippling pectorals, luscious locks, and Ryan Reynolds-esque good looks, and doesn’t talk ever. It’s like a dream come true!

He was the life of the party, everyone wanted to get a picture with him. He got a little cheeky, the dirty bird, but I reminded him that I was a lady and that ish wouldn’t fly with me.

Let’s take a trip down photographic memory lane…

This was when we first met, it was a little off putting i’ll admit, but it really only went up from here…

There was just something about him that caught my eye. Was it the abs? His classically good looks? Or was it because I just couldn’t get his name out of my head?

And then I realized what exactly it was…

Dat booty doh!

Sometimes good things come from creepy meetings…

It’s only awkward if you make it that way.

I kept losing him in the crowd, those tiny legs just can’t keep up, so I just said ‘hitch a ride’ and he did.

There’s nothing wrong with a double shot of ass…

This was, I believe, after he took a swim in my drink that may or may not have been a little heavy on the rum.

You cheeky devil you.

Alright, I concede. Just take a nap, you’re getting a little out of control.


I don’t usually do this sort of thing, but yeah, I took him home that night. No big deal or anything…

He hasn’t left my house yet though, we’re going to have to have a serious conversation when I get home tonight.

The resemblance, it’s uncanny.

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