Dreams, man. Sometimes I really just think that my brain is fucking with me when I sleep. There will be times when I’m like, ‘oh yeah, that totally ties into my current life situation.’ But then there’s days when i’m entirely baffled by what my subconscious brain is doing with its life.
I have a thing about watching Jurassic Park movies, where I don’t. I have nothing against the movies, or even anything really bad to say about them. But undoubtedly, just like any Zombie movie, they give me nightmares. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but definitely by week 3. I don’t know about anyone else, but these are not my favorites. Like, I watched Zombieland, not even scary, but zombies, they get me and not in a good way. Dinosaurs are the same way. I don’t dislike dinosaurs, I like learning about them at the science center at ‘Dollar Days’ weekend here in Baltimore, but they seem to be the antagonist in any dream they take part in. It’s usually the same basic plot in all of them with varying locations, people, the like. It’s always a T-Rex chasing after me and i’m running and then I trip and fall and forget how to use my legs because then, like a dumb idiot, cant seem to get off the ground again. Normally I end up hiding in random ass places, like once it was inside a big soup pot inside my childhood home in the small hallway to the laundry room. I believe the T-Rex ripped off the roof, otherwise i’m not sure how it would have gotten inside. Or that one time where I was at the barn I grew up riding at and there was a random trap door in one of the stalls and we had to get all the horses into the secret bunker and when I was running to it I fell and couldn’t get up, yadda yadda yadda. All super stupid and makes no sense, but i’m sure has some deep seated emotional tie ins about my parents divorce or some family death.
Anyway, so last night I had a dino-dream. It wasn’t like any of the ones I’ve had in the past, but I’m pretty sure has a direct tie in with the upcoming Jurassic Park movie. I haven’t watched a preview or anything for this movie in a good week or two, though I have, with no shame, watched all of them multiple times previously. The only thing I can think of is that I read something on yahoo yesterday about Chris Pratt on a magazine cover all dripping wet and made of glorious man stuff, and on that magazine cover ‘something something Jurassic World’, which apparently triggered my subconscious to be like, ‘hey, you know what we haven’t done in awhile? You didn’t go to the gym yesterday like you said you would so now you are going to pay for it in dreamland.’ Well touche, subconscious, touche!
To be fair, this dream wasn’t quite like the others, there was running and the lot, but played off of the new plot line of the intelligent dinosaur terrorizing life. I WAS chased from my uncles house up to my grandparents house, which is maybe 500 feet from one door to the garage door of the other at one point, but i’d like to really point out that I could have stopped all of this with a little bit of faith and a shotgun. In the beginning of my dream I was at my uncles house visiting and from some unknown place in my brain two little tiny velociraptors and one tiny little baby T-Rex started running around the area. Now, what I gathered from there size is that they are obviously not full grown, but they looked full grown just miniaturized, what I equated this to was those little rubber guys you can get at the dollar store and when you put them in water they get bigger. So we had, what I will assume to be, gremlin dinosaurs. Don’t get them wet and don’t feed them after midnight. So during their miniaturized state I had seen the blatantly obvious problem that was on our hands, you know, fucking dinosaurs, and seeing that this could really only end in tears I suggested that we take care of that problem here and now and shoot the bastards before shit gets real. But alas, mini killing machines are far too adorable to shoot, or so I was told. I just want to go on the record saying that I was in full support of taking care of business the entire dream and I would, and DID!, say so at many later point. So as the little terrors are running around the yard terrorizing I was all, ‘I have to go up to the other house.’ and made a run for it. I was all good, whoever made that journey with me, I cant remember who, tried to close the big metal door to the garage. When I say metal door I mean like zombie apocalypse metal door, not just a regular metal door, which leads me to believe that this has been an issue before. The person who was closing the door didn’t undo some part and bent up the left side of the door and by the time we got the door all the way to the ground the velociraptors were right there and almost got past. And, to no surprise, they started to try to attack the part of the door that was bent and tried to get underneath it, to which I responded with kicking a them and yelling to my companion, ‘I told you so! Dumb Idiots, the lot of you!’
Then a bunch of boring stuff happened, or I assumed so, because I can’t remember shit. So later on in my dream all three dinosaurs are now fully grown, the T-Rex I think super grew because it was far bigger than necessary, and SURPRISE!!! is telepathic and was all up in my shit taunting me from outside the window. You know how in a dream the outside of a place is one place and the inside is a completely different place even if the inside is far too big to fit in the exterior? Well my grandparents house turned into a TARDIS because inside it was like the interior of the house in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the room in the attic where Caesar has all his monkey play stuff, that’s where the majority of the rest of the dream happens. So the big T-Rex, its a lady, is staring into the room with its relatively large beady black soulless eye talking inside my brain. I wish I could remember what it was saying but my brain isn’t as good as it once was and I don’t. But it was discomforting and by the end of my dream she somehow transformed into a human and then I woke up. I don’t know what the hell brought this randomness all about but I woke up confused and wanting a redo.
I’d also like to point out that while my thoughts on how this might have all come about Chris Pratt did not make an appearance in my dream and that just isn’t fair. I think Josh Duhamel’s character from Transformers was there so it wasn’t a complete loss but still a little bit of a disappointment.