I’m in a dry spell people. A bloggable happenings dry spell. There was an instance that we had, myself and Greenbeans, in the good ol’ District of Columbia the other night. We ventured out to the gay bars to meet up with one of his friends for happy hour. I had a couple good instances that happened that night in mind to write about at the time and even began to write it down in my “notes” thing on my phone so Id be sure to remember, but due to my extreme need to pee, slight intoxication, and the thought of impending gelato, I got sidetracked and only got some of it down. But, for posterity reasons I’ll briefly tell you about it anyway.
The first thing I put in my notes was a conversation I had with one of the bar patrons.
Patron: “Girl, I have more knives than Jesus.”
Me: ‘I’m pretty sure Jesus just had sandals….and hippy hair….’
I think this is funnier without any context so I’ll just let you all make your own assumptions as to how this tit for tat came about.
I also made an observation in my note:
‘I may be the only one here with a vagina, but i am arguably the manliest one in the bar’ #becauseihaveavaginathatswhy <—- Id like to get this hashtag really going, so get on it you dirty hipster hippies….
*hashtag backstory* I was writing a post and this is what it autocorrected to. I don’t remember what I was typing but I do know it had nothing to do with vaginas or the fact that having one was an acceptable answer to an argument. Which it totally could be, but I hadn’t been making that point at the time.
Seriously, it happened.
This post actually turned out longer than I had anticipated so I’m not even going to write about the other shit I was planning on. I really wish I finished writing my thoughts down because I remember them being really good, but food always takes precedence in my life, and gelato…nuff said.
I even paper bagged that shit like I was drinking a 40 in public, popped it in my Jommy Johns bag and when I sat down on the metro i held it at the top. It was multifunctional, holding my gelato and keeping that condensation off my shit.
Breaking them rules like a straight up G! Baller status.
It was creme brulee flavored, there was no way I was throwing it away.
Thats some straight up creme brulee gangster shit right there…