This is my own personal hell and I don’t know what I did so wrong to get here…

In the past 6 years I have moved nine times, NINE! There is a reason my sisters call me a gypsy… this weekend being the most recent. Greenbeans is moving in so we upgraded to a 3 bedroom in the same apartment, this move has got to be the absolute worst of them all. We only moved one building over, 609 to 610. It took myself, Roomsies! and Tour Guide Mike 26 hours to move, with a 3 hour nap and a couple 3-5 minute breaks every once in awhile to fight off severe exhaustion.

Roomsies! and I started at roughly 9.30 Saturday night, we didn’t get the keys until one, and then all of us were working after that. So 9.30 Saturday night we start packing up our rooms to go over first. We get our totes and boxes over first, about three trips with a full car, then we use the U-haul Greenbeans had rented to move his stuff over to move our couch, big comfy red chair, my desk, dresser and side tables over. Now, I have this problem where I have a severe inability to pack a box light, if there is still room in the box more shit is going in to it. This time, however, I learned from the past and tested out my boxes as I was packing. I’m one smart cookie after 8 times… I also, apparently, have the same thought process with carrying shit, whether it be groceries or an apartments worth of items. If I have open hands i’m taking more with me.

Roomsies! has two bum wrists so it was up to Tour Guide Mike and myself to beast it out and make it from the second floor of our, now, old apartment and up to the fourth floor to the new one. Not only is it one o’clock in the morning at this point, but we are sweating balls and the platforms between floors are small as shit and this is my own personal hell. I’ve probably repeated the line, ‘I hate life so much right now.’ at least 30 times, by the end of all this it was probably 142. So the desk and side tables were easy, Tour Guide Mike grabbed the desk and me and Roomsies! got a side table each. The Dresser wasn’t terrible, I took out all the drawers and brought those up separately. I go back down to the truck to get the last dresser drawer and I start to share my thoughts of how we are going to maneuver the couch up the tiny stairwell landings to Tour Guide Mike, who was two flights of stairs ahead of me, and I hop up into the truck and hes not there, so I stop talking to myself and grab the last drawer. He then pops out from underneath the chair, that is upside down on the couch. I don’t know what is wrong with this kid, but whatever gets you through the day I guess… He climbs back under the chair when he hears Roomsies! coming down the stairs and tells me to be quiet so he can scare her. I grab the drawer and leave, i probably could have told him that she wasn’t coming in the truck because she was emptying out her vehicle, but it’s funnier to see how long he would wait before he realized it for himself. The chair was fairly light, just large and awkward to move. The couch, however, is when shit really started to go down hill. Getting it out of the old apartment was an ordeal, couldn’t for life of us remember how we got it in there in the first place. Its now about 1.30 in the morning and we are trying to maneuver this couch up to the fourth floor and we get to the top, much quicker than anticipated, and we’re trying to shove it through the door and our new neighbor is coming home. She tells us that there are kids next door and we need to be quiet, that’s fine, I get it, but don’t sit there and ask us what we’re doing. Taking a nap…what does it look like?! Because when there is one person pulling, another shoving, and someone kicking the couch to get past the wall, to me it looks pretty obvious that it’s stuck in the door…

So we finish with all that and call it a night before our new neighbors hate us entirely before we even move in, go back to the other place, grab a quick shower and pass out for 3 hours because we have to be back up at six to move beds before the u-haul needs to be back at seven. I’ve never been more disappointed to hear my alarm then I was at 5.55… I don’t think it really makes a difference between moving beds at six am as opposed to two am really, but everyone else can suck it because I have shit to do today. So from six till around five we moved a bunch of other shit, having to empty out totes with each trip to carry stuff in, boxes were getting a little dicey with a lack of packing tape to keep the bottoms closed. Around five mother nature was conspiring against us and opened up the heavens and let a deluge of rain to cleanse the earth of all its sins. …I don’t think Mother Nature really cares about peoples sin, I may be thinking of Jesus…  Either way, while it rained we cleaned the half of the apartment that was empty and hung out in the living room until it stopped down pouring. I don’t know if any one else has gotten to the point where it hurts worse to sit than to stand after being on their feet for almost twelve hours carrying heavy shit, but I did and I disliked it greatly.

Our last load, and what a glorious load it was….giggity, was at 11.30. So currently we cant walk through the apartment and I’m not really sure where any thing is, but we are finally in the new place and I still have room to move around in my tiny new room, which was a genuine fear because that place looked far too small for my bed, let alone my dresser and desk. Everything worked out in the end, other than the fact that it hurts to move. I laid in bed this morning for an extra thirty minutes just trying to pump myself up and convince myself that my ankles would not give out on me on the way to pee. I really thought Id be good today, meaning that I sit down all day and don’t have to use my handicrippled legs at all. But I forgot that my poor little arms did all the awkward carrying of totes and furniture, which is stupid of me because it looks like i’ve been involved in a domestic dispute with all the bruises on my arms. Regardless, typing hurts and the first time I went to staple something this morning I thought I was going to die.

What I learned during this move is that it is important to find someone with the same work ethic and ability to make the best out of a shitty situation, to which I owe many thanks to Roomsies! and Tour Guide Mike for making this move as emotionally painless. I did also learn that no one should make me laugh while carrying heavy objects like couches and dressers because that is a recipe for disaster. Go Team!!

All in all, its probably not a great idea to go learn how to rock climb the day after you move to a fourth floor apartment… but, #YOLO   right?  ….but i’ll save that for another post.

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