If you could kindly fuck off, that’d be greaaaaat…

I got the Runtastic App about 2 years ago or so when I would go for runs around my neighborhood, the once in a blue moon when I actually exercised. I still use it when I not so often go to the gym to make myself feel better about the whole situation, because let me tell you how much I dislike the gym. It always ends one of two ways; 1. I go to the gym and get my exercise on and stop before I really do some damage. I feel good, I feel accomplished, and then I go home and abs have not taken up residence on my stomach and now I feel like the gym has lied to me and is filled with false hopes! Now, I fully understand that you have to go more than once to get results, but im impatient and I need incentive to keep going back. Or 2. I go to the gym and I feel good and then 4 miles later I’m on the ground dying next to the treadmill and unable to walk for a week because i biffed up my knee something serious. Basically going to the gym, for me, ends in either shattered dreams or a broken self. And this, my friends, is why I stick with cake, it never lets me down and is always there to comfort me.

Needless to say, I don’t appreciate Runtastic pressuring me into that worm hole of self loathing. Every once in awhile it’ll sneak in with a quick jab, making me feel bad about my life decisions….

  

…….don’t be a dickhole Runtastic. Nobody likes ‘That Guy’.

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