It puts the lotion on the skin…

I’ve come to realize that I put way to much faith in the fact that people aren’t going to kill me or do me harm. Moving in with Roomsies! was a perfect example. We met through a mutual coworker, at two different jobs… One of the parents to the girls at the barn was also a coworker of Roomsies! at her job. We were both looking for someone to move in with and the lady had made the suggestion to the both of us. We became friends on Facebook and chatted a bit and started a search for a place to live. By the time we had found an apartment I was living in a one bedroom with an office apartment with three dudes in there dining room. After we finally found a place I got asked pretty often by them, ‘how exactly did you meet this person?’

‘Through one of the ladies at the barn, it’s one of their coworkers’

‘And how long have you known her?’

‘We’ve only met in person like twice’

‘And you’re moving in with her?!’

To which my response would always be, ‘well, I don’t think she’s going to kill me…but I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?’

And see! I’m still not murdered and she’s one of my best friends. It all works out in the end. 

I also tend to have the problem that when a fight breaks out I will just walk up and try to stop it because in my brain I think but I’m a girl, they won’t hit me. Which is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life and that came from MY brain!! I haven’t gotten hit yet, but there’s always a first for everything. 

Regardless of all this, when it comes to other people the first thing I think of is ‘they’re probably going to murder you. Like in a wear your skin as a dress way’ 

Roomsies! has gone and met herself a boy, and let me tell you, if he can, upon first meeting myself and Greenbeans, deal with all the details of the night out before and other random conversations we may have, he has the makings to be a keeper. Granted, this was the first time meeting him and he could be a regular ol’ looney toon in reality, I didn’t get an overstated murdery vibe from him.

But we’ve already discussed this through our group text ‘threes company’. In the event of her murder Greenbeans now has the right to her lifetime movie. To prevent this murder we discussed various forms of tracking; cell phone, those chips they put in pets, and tagging her like a shark. Cell phones are obviously not a good choice, the murderer could just text and post stuff from her phone as if it were her. Unreliable. 

I suggested taking her to the vet and having them implant one of those chips under her skin. We wouldn’t tell anyone else where it was so they couldn’t go crazy psycho and take it out. Roomsies! logically brought up that they don’t serve as trackers, just to let people know where they belong. This could still be useful so that when they find the body they could send her back to us, but if they don’t know about it then it goes back to being useless…

Then I thought, ‘sharks!’ So now we have to get our hands on some shark tagging technology. And on the plus side, it’s waterproof! So if she gets dumped in a lake somewhere it’s still work. My brain does it again! Problem solved…
So really, all I have to say to this here guy is that if you murder my friend, or even hurt her for that matter, I will go Liam Neeson on your ass and I will find you and I will karate chop you straight in the trachea. Come at me bro! You don’t know me!! You don’t know my struggles!!! I will take you down, so far down, to hell, where I have friends because I’m a ginger and that’s our shit! 
But I digress. I hope he reads this. Not only because of fair warning but also because then I get another reader and that always makes me happy…

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