This how horror movies start… part dos…

So after the last post Urikah reminded me of the children of the corn playing in the parking lot a couple doors down. I’m fairly certain these people lived there because they had a whole set up of chairs and a grill outside, and for some reason I just can’t imagine that people come vacationing at the Motor Inn in the middle of Nothing, MA. Unless they come to die, i guess…

But anywho! We went to leave for Stevini’s fight and two minutes down the road Tobias realizes he forgot the tickets in the room. It was actually super serendipitous, because I had promised Stevini some Guinness after his fight and totally didnt have any and where we turned around was a wine and beer store. It was like the sweet baby jesus was looking down at us like the sun from Teletubbies*  and was like, ‘here you are good people, i giveth you the land of fruit and bounty in reward for your upstanding dedication and friendship to the one you call Stevini.’ Fruit being the wine and bounty referring to the hops and whatnot in the beer, im actually really proud of this analogy and also by little baby jesus’s ability to speak so eloquently. Not many babies can do that…

So we stock up on beer and head back to the room to put it in the fridge and also to grab the tickets. After filling up the fridge that we couldnt figure out how to operate, and turns out we never figured it out because shit was not cold when we came back or in the morning when we went to grab it before leaving. We get back in the car, get all ready to leave and before Tobias puts the car in reverse remembers he forgot the tickets in the room again. So yeah, the clusterfuck that was this day was still on a roll.

When we get to the venue there is a line formed at the door, a line that we stood in because shit opened an hour late. But then the ring girls come out to sell tshirts and whatever and I realize that I could totally do this job way better, because not only am I an attractive girl but I also have a sparkling personality. These ladies could have spent a little less time working on their booties, nice as they were, and little more time on their salesmanship. Then I got to wondering how much these ladies get paid, because I would be really good at this job but you’d have to pay me some good money to walk around with my ass hanging out.

Fights happened, they were fun. The Red Corner was producing some fine looking gentleman, the 190 division especially. I would have climbed that tree in heartbeat… Going to the fights take on a whole new meaning when there is another female there with you… So at the end of the fight the people running the concession stand were packing up all the left over food and there were just some pizzas hanging out on a rollie cart wishing that somebody had loved them enough to eat them. Being the fat kid that i am, I instantly noticed these neglected treats and pointed them out to Stevini, who lost no time at all in asking if we could have one. He paid them ten bucks and we got a pizza and a half and a free pizza tray because you can bet your ass I took that shit home with me. Now we can have pizza parties at the apartment…

After hanging out at the after party, that was entirely depressing because everyone just went back to their rooms to party, we left and went back to our murdery motor inn, because that alone is more excitement than the after party was.

We tried the TV, it was shit and all fuzzy and unwatchable, so Stevini broke out the laptop and we watched a little Hot Rod. One of the original movies of our friendship and one of the top most quoted in any conversation we have.

Look at that home theater. That’s some top notch shit right there…

Urikah had never seen Hot Rod, blasphemy, I know… She learned real quick though, that you have to really enjoy the stupid things in life and come to terms with your IQ dropping. Love the movie, but it is stupid humor, my favorite type of humor. Denny’s is apparently the new after fight tradition and after finding the closest one in the correct direction we decided at 1am that it was time for bed so we could sleep before having to get up. Forty minutes later we still aren’t asleep and Stevini, Tobias and I quoted the entire Step Brothers movie. And when I say ‘quoted’ I mean like went through basically all of the dialogue in random fashion and then got to the point where we were just describing the scenes or doing the tune to the music in the movie, like that’s how in depth and committed we were to this. Urikah, like pretty much the entire trip, had no idea what was going on and was entirely confused. But that’s what happens when you come in to ten years of inside jokes.

Stevini thought he was done fighting for the night, nay nay fluffy. You may be an MMA fighter sir but i aint scurred of you!

But really, cuddle buddies fo lyfe!

Fun Fact: our other accommodation option for that night was a Motel 6 that was a few miles further away from the fight venue. Turns out it was literally right next door to the Denny’s.

Also, you still cant take me anywhere in public because I hit my elbow on the table when I tried to Dukes of Hazzard it into the booth and slammed my not so funny bone into the table and yelled ‘mother fucker!’ in a crowded Denny’s.

And, the waitress looks at you weird when you order a steak and mashed potatoes and broccoli at 9am with a chocolate peanut butter milkshake.

 So all in all, my besticle is a bad ass and Im really happy that me and my friends didn’t die at the motor inn…

*sweet little baby jesus when he led us to the booze.


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