me, myself, and I… and instagram, and Bindirooski, and decidedly phallic looking pool toys…

I honestly don’t understand why people hate being alone, whether it’s in reference to being single or just by yourself. I love every second of it. I get that some people aren’t comfortable with themselves and feel the need for companionship at all times. These people, in my opinion, are the ones who need to spend time by themselves the most. But that’s neither here not there and completely not the what i’m getting at here. Living with two roommates, though I love them dearly, and working three jobs doesn’t leave much room for time alone. That’s why I’m cherishing every moment of farmsitting while I have it. There are so many perks to not having to interact with other human lives. Let me give you some examples;

  • you don’t feel obligated to conversate with anyone
  • you get to shamelessly talk to yourself, which really ends up being the best conversations ever. Its like the Planet Fitness of conversations, no judgement zone.
  • you dont have to shave your legs
  • you dont have to wear a bra
  • you can listen to whatever music you so choose
  • you can sing your little heart out to your Cher pandora station
  • you can lay on the pool float in the most unladylike fashion and give zero fucks.
  • no pants are the best pants.
  • you get to catch up on some good ol instagram time.

…just to name a few.

Tonight is the start of my birthday weekend. I don’t work tomorrow and I got a free six pack of beer. I have a house and a pool to myself and all the animals are taken care of for the night, and let me tell you what. I sure do wish I had video of me corralling the chickens into their home, all the while channeling my inner Happy Gilmore, ‘Go back to your home!’

I spent a good three hours in the pool, during which I utilized my time to the fullest instagramming and belting out Celine Dion ballads. The best Pandora stations for sing-a-longs that I have would have to be Disney Songs and Cher. Disney songs, because obviously, and Cher because you get not only Cher but also endless Celine Dion, Pat Benetar and Reba. And who doesn’t love to sing-a-long to a good ol exposition about a girl who turned into a ho bag, though a classy ho bag, to try and save her family but then her mother dies in a shed and her infant sibling gets put in to the system, but its ok! because she gets a fancy mansion in Georgia because her name is Fancy and that makes her a lady…

But then instagram piqued my interest and i went on a bit of a picture frenzy…

We start off here setting the tone for this weekend. Booze and water, some of my favorite things…

One of our amazing patients brought us ribs, fries, onion rings, cinnamon apples, and beer. He brought me a six pack for myself because we had been chatting about Kirin Ichiban at some point or another. It is pretty delicious, made even more so because it was free…

I wasn’t entirely alone this evening, I made a friend. I was lounging in a most unladylike fashion on a pool float and noticed this little guy hanging out on the brim of my hat. You have no idea how many times I had to rearrange his life to get this picture, that’s what we call movie magic my friends!

he was a majestic little fucker, ill give him that much! …im not sure where he got off to but I like to think it was an adventure in the great wide somewhere. *beauty and the beast reference, fuck yeah!*
  but then my beer started to float away from me all irresponsibly… like it was going to go on some great adventure without me, how dare it!!

and then there’s my main bitch, Bindi. Im pretty smitten with this dog. She is totally on my level where i can not pet her and shes chill but if I choose to give her the pets of her life shes all about that shit. So naturally we did a photoshoot…. 

Seriously though, cutest fuckin dog ever!    …even if I have to fish out pool toys and balls from the deep end because she thinks playing means let me drop all my shit in the pool for you.   ….im still not convinced this is a pool toy, which makes me reget every second of holding it that happened now that i think about it…

So my weekend has started off pretty amazing, ending tonight with some Andrews Sisters Pandora on the porch, one of my happy places. Then on to this weekend! Where shenanigans and general tomfoolery will ensue as Greenbeans, Roomsies!, Britney and I go on an adventure down to VA beach. So stayed tuned for that clusterfuck, we’ve already been forewarned that a flat tire could be in our near future.

ADVENTURE TIME!!!

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