May I show you to your room, sir or madame….

Sometimes I feel like my genius is underrated and goes unused. One such gem was that one time when we moved into the new office. In the old office the rooms were numbered, as they had been for twenty odd years of Dr Boss Lady practicing out of that office. In the new office we don’t have such forms of identifying the rooms, now we just say, ‘so and so is in the red chair,’ purple chair, casting room, middle room, last room, what have you. Dr Boss Lady had at one point asked how we should go about naming the rooms. Suggestions were thrown around, mainly all boring and lame and descriptive of the location or color of the exam chair. Whilst this discussion was ongoing my fantasmic brain brought this little sunshine to the game….

If we called them ‘Suites’ it would not only make this a classier establishment but would also make the patients feel more important and special at their visit. Thinking of other opportunities that we wouldn’t want to miss in this naming market I also suggested that we could add some art work to the rooms as well to give the patient something more to look at other than boring old medical mumbo jumbo, because really that’s just turning people into hypochondriacs. I even held back the thought of painting the entire room the theme like they do in pediatrician offices, because again, we are going for class and sophistication. A nicely done painting or photo would serve well as an identifier. Myself being an ar-teest, I even offered to create said paintings. And to up the ante and tie it all together I would create the scene but add footprints as this is a foot doctor. Just imagine a serene beach scene with the foot prints left behind of someone who has fantastic arches and no pain walking barefoot, that person could be you after your visit with Dr Boss Lady. Or perhaps you are looking for a bit of adventure and your childhood dream was to be an astronaut, well look no further than our Astronaut Room. Stargaze from the moon and look back upon your moon boot tracks that will forever show your dream that came true as you receive out of this world foot care from Dr Boss Lady. Maybe you are a real John Wayne fan, just like myself. You could go back to the old west and take a walk in ‘ol Johnny boys shoes and rustle up some trouble and grab life by the horns.

As it is, the rooms are still referred to as purple chair, red chair, middle room, last room, etc. and i’m not quite sure why i haven’t been made head of advertising because those descriptions are on point and totally foot related. I’m just trying to make this an unforgettable and positive experience for everyone. I plan to bring this back up at my employee yearly review, whenever that happens. It may turn out that I may just paint some shit and hang it up in the rooms and not tell anyone and start calling the rooms their respective new names. I will win this fight through force because I will win this battle and then I will win this war…

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