And this is what happened in your brain becaaaaause?…

So let me tell you about last night. On my way home from the barn after a less than desirable riding lesson I decide to stop and get some food because I have a rumbly in my tumbly that needed to be taken care of pronto. I stop at Wendy’s because now I have a hankering only pulled pork can satisfy. But let me set the scene for you first. It’s straight up down pouring. Not even like regular rain, it was big ‘ol fat rains mixed with the kind that comes up from the ground, straight up Forrest Gump style. I pull up to the drive thru order taker guy thing there and crack my window to place my order and then wait there for a hot minute until someone finally asks what I want. A small puddle had accumulated on my seat at this point. I place my order in a clear and concise way. Pulled pork sandwich meal, smokey sauce, rootbeer. Done, let me drive to you now. Nope. Let me drown you in your car some more, they say. ‘Do you want to make that a combo?’ …yes. ‘And what kind of sauce?’ …smokey. ‘And what did you want to drink?’ …rootbeer. *long pause* your total is……$8.75(or some shit like that) please drive up. 

So I close my window and drive up getting as close to the building as humanly possible to make the distance from window to car as small as possible. These bitches didn’t have any sort of awning, not even like a tasteful pergola. Nothing. Just the heavans that had opened up on top of Maryland. So I pull up to the window and there is an employee standing at the window. She looks at me, and silly me thinking that this signified the beginning of the monetary transaction, rolled down the window enough to stick my arm out to hand her my card. Wrong again! She turns around and walks away! So I roll my window up to try to stave off the onslaught of rain into my vehicle. So then the lady comes back and opens the window and I stare at her for a second to make sure this shit is for real this time before opening my window and giving her my card. Roll that bitch back up until she opens the window again to hand me my card and drink. She says it’ll be just another minute so I roll my window up again and wait for my food. A different employee comes to the window with my bag of food and opens the window. As she does so I open mine and reach my arm out to take it from her. If she had just handed me my bag everything would have been fine. But alas, she goes to hand the bag over to my awaiting hand, realizes that it’s raining takes my food back away from me, which is quite possibly like THE biggest no no in life, leans back in to the building, looks at the sky and looks at me and goes, ‘awwww’. The lack of food in my system caused a delay in thought process from brain to mouth and nothing came out. I just looked at her with a dumbfounded look and reached further out of the car to grab it from her. She takes it and rolls the top of the bag up so it doesn’t rain inside my bag? I guess. Not that it made much of a difference because it was raining so hard that it just got the entire bag wet in the time it took for her to hand it to me. So I snatch it out of her hand with all the hanger inside of me and drive off while rolling up my window and cursing at her. 

Listen, I know I drive a boat. That doesn’t mean if like an ocean inside my car. I did that once in my trunk and I didn’t enjoy it in the slightest. 

And then when I get back to the apartment I have to park in east bumfuck because it’s like ten o’clock all the spots are occupado, and I have to walk to the apartment in the turrential downpour, high resulted in making my bag even soggier and causing it to tear making me almost lose my food altogether. Forget tropical storm Joaquin, hurricane Becky would have been all up in that stairwell causing damage. 

I just don’t get the thought process that led us to this point…

…but in all fairness the sandwich was delicious. 

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