A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer…

Cards Against Humanity is always a good time. It’s an even better time when you are playing with people you’ve known for ten years that have the same fucked up mindset as you do… Thursday after we Shatnered our way home from DC, we were supposed to go karaoke, but instead stayed in and played Cards Against Humanity and drank, as you do. We played for a good three or four hours, and let me tell you what, I won the shit out of that game. Not by like a card or two, but like nine or ten cards. It really just ended up being a game of, ‘which card did Becky put down so I can not choose that one’, which usually ended up being the most fucked up options. …haters. As if I don’t know these ass holes well enough by now and I’m not just generally hilarious! 

Some of the most memorable card selections…

  • Before white priveledge there was dying.
  • The academy award for poor life choices goes to my vagina (I was really proud of this one)
  • What should you never have to deal with in the work place? Strong female characters. 
  • What did my dad get into during his mid life crisis? A black man in his early twenties, last seen wearing a hoodie.
  • Before we had a sweet spaceship all we had was a box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer

Let me ‘splain this one. These were super throw away cards. I had nothing good to put down so I chose to use whichever two at least fit in the spaces. It was Matts turn to judge cards, and I should have known… Once we made it past ‘sweaty spaceship?…oh.  Sweet spaceship’ and onto the tongue twister of biscuits. Just watching his intoxicated self stumble over the card was funny enough. The fact that he couldn’t stop laughing made it even better…  The fact that when ever you started saying ‘a box of biscuits’ he would uncontrollably giggle like a little school girl before you even got further into the sentence was the best. The fact that I’m pretty positive that you could say this to him even now and he’d react the same way is only better. So naturally this became a frequently used phrase throughout the remainder of the weekend, even when it was not even a little bit relevant to the conversation… The fact that mid read he propelled a snot rocket out his nose due to laughter. …well, let’s just say it was a good time. 

The getting my dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap card came up pretty frequently as well. Not sure why, but always a good time…

I’m living the dream people, IM LIVING. THE. DREAM!!

There were quite a few times I couldn’t breath and my nonexistent abs were on literal fire, literally. I laughed so hard that I got abs and my new abs rubbed together from being doubled over in a good raucous laugh and they just burst into an impromptu blaze from the friction …you know, or at least it felt that way. 
We’re finally getting somewhere with this here catching up on that weekend and blogging. Next up? Movie magic!


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