That’s what we call movie magic you dirty little hipsters…

A couple of weeks before these hooligans came down for the weekend I get a text from Stevini whilst I was breaking in to my car that one time. I get a text asking if I want to be in a video he is making for school. Of course I agree, I’m a good friend like that. Then he asks if I would also like to make him look like he got the shit kicked out of him since I have a knack for that kind of stuff, which is good since that’s my career of choice when I grow up. After making sure that I get to be the one who gets to actually kick his ass I agree. So as if I need any more reason to be super pumped for this trip I also get to make my acting and movie makeup debut simultaneously.

The premise of the movie is a mocumentary about dating, Stevinis character starts online dating and after awhile decides to start filming the dates to catch all the types of crazies that are out there.

After a good ol round of CAH it’s like one am and we decide that we are going to start filming…as you do.  We originally went to the scene of the concussion crime to film, as he was supposed to be meeting my character for a date. So there I am, freezing my ass off waiting for him to get lighting and sound taken care of. Then there were all the bar patrons who wouldn’t go back inside. We ended up moving locations to the empty shopping center by the house, this kid was taking me on a classy date to Subway… Steveni and Matt started on lighting and sound take two and instead of freezing my ass off waiting for them to make things happen I told them ‘I will be in my trailer forgetting my lines…’ Which happened. I have a terrible memory and a recently scrambled brain, so unsurprisingly I forgot them repeatedly.

We do a quick run through of the scene in the car and get to work. Eighteen takes later and we finally have something that’s potentially useable. Sure fucked that one up, I did. Turns out I should probably read the whole scene instead of just my lines, because when it’s actually going down I get caught up listening to what the other person is saying and get completely lost. I got the greeting down no problem, but when the scene started to escalate jus when I would lose it. When I finally got to the point where I was getting somewhere Stevini got excited that this was going to actually maybe end and started waving his arm around in a ‘keep going’ motion behind the camera, which made me lose it. Take 17 was entirely his fault.

Meanwhile, Matt and Tobias are standing in the background being excellent extras and by this point know both of our parts better than us. To which they just started playing is in the background instead of making small talk. They were really the stars that night.

So amidst the freezing 2am video shoot and my 17 fuck up takes we were also delayed due to the fact of three local hooligans that were walking through the parking lot yelling at us asking what we’re doing at their work…classy. So after some yelling exchanges one of them comes up to us asking what we’re doing.

‘Hey! What are you doing?!’

‘Stuff!’

‘What?!

‘Stuff!’

‘What?!’

‘Yep!’

‘Ok!’

…that’s what happened.

So the final take is done and a special bonus feature filmed, Matt and Tobias improv conversation. Uricah is asleep in the front seat of my car at this point and missed out on all of this. We go back to the apartment and pop in What We Do in the Shadows, great movie bee-tee-dubs. You should go watch it.

Filming resumed the next day between activities and I got to try my hand at making Stevini look like he got the absolute shit kicked out of him. I don’t want to toot my own horn or anything, but TOOT TOOT MOTHERFUCKERS!


Done with a limited color palette and no real idea what the hell I was doing, I was pretty proud of myself. I posted the above photo on the book of the faces and tagged Stevini. The amount of anger in the comments from his fighting buddies about who was going to get their ass kicked for biffing up his face was an amazing boost for self confidence in the fact that I am choosing the right career. If there were any group of people who were well acquainted with what a beat up face looks like, it’s MMA fighters.


And on my first attempt at bruises and scratches no less!

Going back. Through my texts with Stevini I found a bit of foreshadowing for that weekend…


Stevini doesn’t have to finish his video until sometime next month so unfortunately we all have to wait to see the actual dealio with my exceptional makeup and subpar acting skills. But until then, I give you the theatrical trailer for ‘This Is How We Date’

I’m pretty pumped for the full thing…

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