Cattyswampass…

That’s right. Catty. Swamp. Ass.

And no. I am not referring to a marshy bog dwelling  douche canoe that says deliberately hurtful and offensive things. I’m talking about when you sweat so much and a marshy bog like landscape has now offensively taken up residence in your underoos.

Well. I went to my kickboxing class for the second time Saturday morning. While muscle failure is still an inevitability after every class, i’m still enjoying it. This is already turning out to be better than the P90X fiasco… that lasted two days and we’ll never talk about it again. I will say though, that Saturday I was less enthused about the whole experience. This I lay the blame entirely on the fact that I had to get out of bed to do so. Its a 10:15 class so it’s not like its waking up at the ass crack of dawn, but I have a very loving and emotional bond with my bed. The fact that I was willing to extract myself from it is, in itself, a mighty  mighty feat. I thought I might die this morning and by the end thought there was an all too realistic possibility that I might vomit. Probably shouldn’t have eaten a bowl of oatmeal on the way to the gym and then participate in an abusive forty minutes of muscle torture, but YOLO, right?

I’ve never sweated so much at the gym, which is probably a dead giveaway that I wasn’t doing it right.

What probably isn’t the best idea is after the class is finished and you’re covered in sweat, to put your jacket on and immediately leave and venture out into the frozen tundra that was this past weekend. Things get a might chilled in the new boggy swamp land in my pants…

Everything is all fine and dandy for the remainder of the day, but you just wait until tomorrow. That’s when all the fun happens, and by fun I mean becoming a temporary paraplegic. There were so many squats. Thinking about it takes me back to ‘Nam…  oh god, the horror! Getting up is the hard part. Once I sat down, I just accept that that’s my new home for the rest of the day, because the reality is is that my legs have quite possibly fallen off entirely.

It’s now Tuesday, that’s three days later. Stairs are still the enemy. More so going down them than going up, which is odd. Stretching out those calves is a painful business these days. It hurts so good!!!

On the up side, my pushups were so much better this time around. I pussed out and did them with my knees down, but baby steps. One day I might have this exercise thing down and abs could be a thing… One can dream!

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