I was leaving for work this morning and on the way out of the apartment complex I was stopped by a gaggle of people frantically waving their arms holding green bags. Against the better judgement of all the people who have ever told me to not talk to strangers, sorry Mr Rogers… I slowed down and rolled down my window. The frantic waving arm lady pops her head in the passenger side window and hands me a reusable bag and says, “just some breakfast on the go from *insert apartment company here*”

To which I replied by yelling, ‘my mom told me never to take food from strangers!’ And floored it…
…I didn’t actually do that. But I had thought about it and giggled to myself. Regardless of the fact that if I floored it I would only have to slam on the breaks in twenty feet at the red light, or the fact that I may have decapitated the lady with her head in my passenger side window, I still thought it would have been the funny option. 

I’ve realized lately that I opt out of the option that will personally bring me joy and hilarity for the boring, civilized part of society option because that’s what this cruel world does to you. Beats you down and takes away all the joys in life. 

I went to play monster mini golf last weekend and there was a family behind my group that would start playing the hole we were still playing. One of the people in my group asked the mother of the children to kindly please wait their turn, to which the lady said, ‘oh they can play right here, it’s fine.’ Then I tried to take the passive aggressive route and stood on top of the hole we had finished until my group all started at the next one. 

Then these little turd burglars played through the other hole and while we were still at the end hit a ball right into our area. I picked up the ball and brought it back to the kid and said, ‘no thank you!’ They stopped cutting into our game, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I could have handled that better. And by better I mean in the worst possible way ever by picking up the kids ball and chucking it across the way. I honestly would have felt so much better if I had acted on my instincts. But life has beaten me down to an acceptable part of society. This makes me sad. All I want to do is laugh. 

I guess my mom should be happy in the way she raised me to have handled these scenarios with such restraint and grace…

I’m just left disappointed. 

You win again life. You win again…

One thought on “STRANGER DANGER!!…

  1. I am happy about that, however, just so you know, I would have wanted to throw their ball across the way too! Or better yet, at their parent’s head!


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