I’m starting to think someone is conspiring against me…

I made an attempt!

And that’s why I don’t feel bad about not going to the gym today. Like last weekend when I just shut off my alarm when it went off, I actually got up, ate some breakfast and then left the house to go to the gym. But the fact that I made sure I had my gloves and water and then walked out the door locking the bottom one behind me as I always do and then making it almost all the way across the parking lot to my car before realizing that I didn’t have my fucking keys…

Now I’m all stoop kid on the stairs at my apartment building because Greenbeans is out of town at a competition and Roomsies! Is at work. …which I didn’t realize until after I walked all they way back upstairs and called her phone that went straight to voicemail the three times I tried and then started to text her for help and ringing the doorbell that I’m pretty positive doesn’t even work anymore.

I’m really glad the sun is out in all of its radiant glory because it’s 34°, real feel of 29, and I’m outside in gym pants a sweatshirt and my jacket and there’s three more minutes before the leasing office opens.

I would still absolutely love to go to my kickboxing class this morning. However, it starts in fifteen minutes and the place is twenty minutes away. Now, I don’t want you to think me a quitter, because I have complete faith in me being able to drive there in fifteen minutes. But that’s when the class actually starts. So. What the hell is the point? Not to mention the time it’s going to take my leasing office people to actually let me in…

Not ever have I ever locked myself out of things as much as I do since we moved to this apartment… This is the second time I’ve locked myself out of the apartment, and let’s not forget that time i broke into my car in the apartment parking lot while Nosey Nelly the second floor neighbor watched very conspicuously from her kitchen window and I prayed that I’d make it in before the cops showed up.

I mean really, fuck you Saturday. I was actually looking forward to going to the gym today. Are you trying to tell me something Jeebus? Are you? Am I not supposed to go to the gym? Am I really supposed to just sit at home and watch the last episode of Fuller House that I didn’t get to yesterday while at work? I mean, I’m game…
…it’s now 10:12 and the leasing office has yet to open its doors to the awaiting tenants, that if they’re anything like me they are also disgruntled, waiting for them to open the doors. You know, the ones that are posted to be open at 10:00…

F you leasing office! F you right in the A! Sideways! With a wooden pole that has nails poking out at all sides. Because what in the actual fuck?

I’ve relocated my stoop sitting to the steps right next to the office. I’m waiting for you you tardy mother dickers!

*fun fact: I meant to type fuckers my thumbs apparently preferred dickers which autocorrect accepted as a real word…*


Oh look! It’s 10:30 and somebody finally showed up. …running on CPT time I see.

But no, that’s cool. I totally wanted to sit on the steps for a hour waiting for you to get here so I can take the two minutes it took me to get from the leasing office, to my apartment to unlock it and then back to you with the key…

had called the office umber and they give you an option to have the on call maintenance man to come unlock your door for you, but then they said I could be charged for it. No thank you. I’ll wait.

But on a brighter note, Happy Birthday to my dirty like asian Greenbean. He’s so old now. I know so because of the progression of how his birthdays have gone since we’ve been together.

27: weekend trip to NY where we drank constantly and got in to altercations with shitty bartenders at 3am over the birthday calendar he got.

28: Wine tasting, dinner, general shenanigans at the bar.

29: He’s working all weekend.

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