Mommy, WOW! I’m a big kid now…

So a ways back me and Greenbeans had ourselves a big kid day. We went to Discover the Dinosaurs at the Timonium Fair Grounds and then took and impromptu trip to the Baltimore Zoo.

For all that Discover the Dinosaurs was, it was pretty underwhelming. We walked through it in like fifteen minutes. Granted it was more for actual children than the larger over aged ones such as ourselves. It was pretty informational though, teaching kids those tough life lessons early on in a fun dinosaur environment…

Like the unfairness that is certain death…

This was right in the lobby. You walk in, give them your tickets and BLAM! death by t-rex. This is a metaphor for life, children. Life is a t-rex and you are the sad little whateversaurous life is crushing in to the ground. Get ready for disappointment!

They also taught anatomy…

Can’t say that I agree entirely with the necessity of Triceratop vagoo hanging out for the world to see. I was perfectly happy just letting my brain think that they were genetal-less beings. Now all I can think of is dinosaur sex and I would entirely prefer not to.

Throughout the whole shebang there was a lot of death and destruction. Like this little interracial gangbang.

That’s no game of piggyback my dear children… Death. That’s just dinosaur death.

Finally! Some culture! …paint me like one of your french girls!

Just kidding! MORE DEATH!!

…I don’t recall what type of dinosaur that was, but judging by the fact that it is the evening meal in just about every exhibit, I would have to say that that one kind of got the shit end of the stick in life.

For as lackluster as my dinosaur discovery might have been, there was one highlight of the trip that made it entirely worth the trip. I made a new friend!

His name is Tyberious Rexford III, but his friends call him Tito for short.

He insisted on driving…

But in reality, I did this and drove like this for quite some time. All the while Greenbeans was telling me that if we got into and accident or pulled over he would blame me entirely for all of it… Such abandonment in a hypothetical time of need!!

He didn’t seem to enjoy it any bit more when I had started driving with my left hand and Tito started singing Believe by Cher to him. This kid… never happy!

We ended up at the Baltimore Zoo. I paid with dollar coins and snuck Tito in under my arm. It was a good time. Tito got to explore new places, make new friends, and had a regular ol’ blasty blast.

Someone seemed a little skeptical about their meeting… It was not Tito

This Alpaca may seem enthused to be making a new prehistoric friend… I can assure you, he was not. I was almost certain ol’ Mop Top Mabel here was going to be spitting in someones face… or attacking someones face, it could have gone either way.

The resemblance is almost uncanny…

…it’s even more almost uncanny.

Just a couple of pals hanging around in a birdy nest…

*Fun Fact: Greenbeans is an ass hole and when I tried to get out he kept pushing me back in. There was a puddle of water in the bottom, so imagine my displeasure…Ass hole*

Things have taken on a Jurassic World feel…   

Let your prehistoric freak flag fly, Tyberious. Get it!

He’s just so darn happy…

…and getting a bit hungry.

But making new friends…

It was a fantastic day out, and everyone had a regular ol’ blasty blast. Sometimes you need to just be a big kid and push past all the little kids at the dinosaur show and then rampage through the zoo with a T-Rex hand puppet…

Because i’m an adult got dangit!!!


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