Ok, I’m back…

It’s been a hot minute since I posted anything. I’d like to be able to say it’s because I moved from Maryland to Pennsylvania… I’d like to say that it’s because I had to find a job because I moved and now I need to be able to feed myself and pay for a place to live because Roomsies! and Greenbeans didn’t come with me… I’d also like to say that I didn’t have internet for the first three weeks and had to save my data because I needed to GPS everywhere I went because I have no idea where anything is… 

And while yes, all that is true. I did move. Out of the fourth floor Maryland apartment, to an entire nother state and into my new third floor mini apartment all in one day thanks to the best moving company ever! The Maaaam and William McGilliam express. I’ve been forewarned that the next time I move, because let’s face it, it’s going to happen again eventually, that they will no longer be helping me move my shit. They did say that they would pay for a moving company. So that’s something to look forward to…

And I did have to find a new job, because while maaaam stocked my freezer with chicken nuggets, french fries, and waffles… It only lasts so long when you start to eat out of sheer boredom because you’re stuck in your hot as balls apartment for two weeks while you’re unemployed. Thus I had to find a job so I could feed my face because Greenbeans isn’t here to buy me food and feed me. 

And I really didn’t have internet until half way through June and I have the worst sense of direction and therefore had to save my data to make from point a to point b… Even if it’s only a mile down the road… 

So while all these statements are in fact the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, it was mainly just because I’ve been lazy. It’s not like I had friends, I only knew one person here before moving, and that was a good year or two ago at someone’s wedding Greenbeans brought me to. I apologize to all eight of my devoted readers for the lack of greatness but it sucks to suck…

But anyway…

Now I am settled in, I have a job, and I have internets a plenty and I’ve finally gotten up to the task of spewing something from my fingertips and on to the interwebs. Like the rainbow spaghetti light show that spewed from the beast in Beauty and the Beast at the end when he goes all reverse werewolf and turns back into Prince Adam. …you’re welcome. 

It’s also because I’m sitting in Panera using their free wifi instead of sitting in my apartment watching movies instead of being creative with my mind and spaghetti light show fingers, which is really the problem. Movies. They distract me all too easily. …but also because they’re doing work on the apartment below mine and all I’ve heard on both my days off starting at 8:30 is the morning is a whole lot of banging and cursing right through the wall my bed is against… 

So you know. Fuck that. 

Also because Panera has air conditioning and people to watch. Both of which is lacking in my apartment. It’s just a sauna. I wash dishes and I come away from it ten pounds lighter because it all seeped out of my pores in a torrential down pour of sweat. Delicious. I know. I take a cold shower and come out sweating regardless. But for $435 a month, utilities included, I’ll suffer. 

There’s also the fact that for the past week we’ve been getting torrential down pours at least once a day here and I happen to be in the midst of one right now. 


Because what in the fuck…

I’ve started working as a server in Pittsburgh and I have plenty of fun anecdotes to share with you all… But until I make myself type it all up, you’ll just have to wait in eager anticipation. 

I bid you ado for now. TTFN. Ta ta for now. 

Just know that I’ve moved on to deep thoughts on the sad state of the bacon they put on my sandwich… Did they even cook it? Why does it look wrinkly and wet? This is very much reminiscent of my hot pocket theory of never looking inside the food. I would have been better off in a blissful ignorance. 

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