Listen, I am well aware that i’m an attractive gal. I totally get it when a guy wants to flirt with me on occasion and i’ve enjoyed the attention from time to time, but unless you are Chris Evans please do not try to get my phone number while i’m at work. …I will allow it if it is in fact Chris Evans because i’m pretty sure I’d let Chris Evans do anything.
That being said, the people who hit on me at work are usually of the unsavory sort of character and are pretty relentless with their flirtatious advances from across the counter.
Last night I had to endure an endless barrage of pretty inappropriate questions for twenty minutes from one of our guests. I did not ask for this, all I did was glance up from my word search and said ‘hello‘ like I do with every guest that walks through the door, even the ones that just went to grab something from their car and came right back in. This apparently was open invitation to encroach in my area and ask me absurd questions that are none of their business whatsoever.
And unfortunately this is not a bar setting, this is my place of employment and I cannot let my true feelings shine through.
So as I sit here deflecting questions like;
what’s your last name?
I don’t know how that is pertinent information…
how old are you?
That’s not something you need to know…
where are you from?
do you live close to here?
have you ever been in trouble? y’know, like with the cops?
you got a boyfriend?
If I say yes will you go away?
what color are your eyes?
**This he asks because I cant bare to look at him and all of his tooth gappy glory without feeling uncomfortable. There were gaps between each tooth, not just one front tooth gap… Every. One.
Which then, unfortunately for me, he began to talk about himself.
I tried to be as nice as I possibly could under the circumstances and as hard as that was I did my best to make myself look busy searching for those pesky illusive words, answering with nothing more than an un-enthused ‘mhmm‘. This, unfortunately, did not work and I prayed for the phone to ring or for someone to come in to get a room.
Not soon enough, my prayers were answered and a guy came in to get a room. Creepy McCreepersons did not seem to be deterred, so much so that I didn’t think he was going to move to let the guy to the desk. He stayed throughout the whole transaction and didn’t leave until after all that I turned my chair around and went back to my searching and he finally took the hint.
But the lucky little lady that I am, I got round two with someone who wasn’t even staying here today. While he was less disconcerting to look at and got to the point much quicker, he was much more adamant about the whole situation.
After some quick small talk, with some more of those good ol’ intrusive inappropriate questions…
how old are you?
when do you get off work?
… he got right to the point.
So all in all, please don’t be a creeper to the hotel staff when you are out and about on your travels.
…unless you’re Chris Evans, in which case you can hollaback guuuurrrrrrl.
I plan to make this into a new form of amusement if this continues. Lies. Lies all around! I already have experience spewing lies about myself, whether they be that i’m from Canada, a cruise ship dancer or that i’m even a possible tranny. That one time I went to the singles mixer solely for the all you can eat and drink food and booze with Greenbeens, Roomsies! and Rexus that I told no truths has prepared me for this.
Any suggestions for future background stories I might use are always welcome.
To keep up to date with ridiculous snap stories about my own, I can only assume, ongoing american horror story: hotel flirts follow me BLegendary.